


Save Me/I'm Fine

by loonathevelvet



Category: Gugudan (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idols, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:34:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonathevelvet/pseuds/loonathevelvet
Summary: "It wasn’t that Mina doubted that Y/N loved her. It would be stupid to even consider so. Her own face wasn’t the only one to light up whenever they had time to spend together. It was just that it always seemed to soon to say that she hoped Y/N would never leave."The rise and fall of a relationship that wasn't meant to be forever, just a moment.
Relationships: Kang Mina & Reader, Kang Mina/Reader





	1. Please save me tonight.

## Within this pitch-black darkness, you're shining so brightly.

It was a dark night, and the storm roared outside. For every thunder, for every flash of lightning that struck the world, her body seemed to get smaller and smaller under the covers. She wanted nothing more than to hide and disappear, to become so small no one would ever be able to see her again. Under loud noises from the rain, and louder noises in her head from what she kept reading online, Kang Mina felt the light touch of tears streaming down her face delicately.

When she heard the familiar sound of the key turning inside the door lock, she slowly started to get up and out of the bed, trying to not make any sound, although she didn’t exactly know why. There she was. Her body was soaking wet, and her lower lip was trembling worryingly, but there she was. It was calming to see her familiar face, to hear her voice squeak “Mina!” happily, though she didn’t run to her like she always did. Maybe because she didn’t want to get the entire apartment, and Mina, wet.

“Can you pick up a change of clothes for me? I’ll run to the bathroom and take all of this off.” Mina smiled and nodded her head in agreement, hushing to do so before Y/N caught a cold.

Later, when Y/N had already changed and was now trying to warm herself up under the cover and Mina was making some hot tea, her thoughts kept wandering to immediate effect her arrival had had on her bad mood. Even seeing her girlfriend on the doorstep was enough to make her feel so much better, that by now she could barely remember what was it that had upset her. In that moment, she couldn’t help but wish the rest of her life was filled with that feeling of coming home, of having found out something, someone, great, who could make her happy in spite of everything going on outside.

She was always scared to voice those feelings, though. They sounded so… Serious. It felt like a commitment Y/N wouldn’t be ready for just yet.

It wasn’t that Mina doubted that Y/N loved her. It would be stupid to even consider so. Her own face wasn’t the only one to light up whenever they had time to spend together. It was just that it always seemed to soon to say that she hoped Y/N would never leave.

Coming back to their bedroom, Mina found a still trembling Y/N trying to warm herself up by rubbing her hands together. Another smile crept on Mina’s face as she called her name to give her the hot, hot cup of tea.

“This feels so good on my hand, you can’t even believe it. Thank you so much, love.” She said, blowing a kiss. Mina chuckled.

“You’re welcome. Was it that cold outside?” She nodded vigorously. “Well, why didn’t you just call me? I could have stopped by to pick you up, or something.”

“Ah, I didn’t want to bother you. I’m sure you had a long practice day. Besides, if I had called you, you would also be wet and cold right now.” She took a sip of the tea. “And it’d also be an unnecessary risk to get a ride with you publicly like that.”

It wasn’t exactly that her words hurt, but that reality bites. Sometimes, Mina liked to pretend they were a normal couple. A couple who could hold hands in the streets, who could kiss whenever they felt like it, who could be disgustingly cute and get away with it. A couple who could give each other rides to and back from work. They weren’t like that, though. They would always have to run and hide, even if they did live in the same apartment.

“Well, I could have at least called someone so you wouldn’t have to walk home in the storm.”

“You don’t have to, don’t worry. I’m fine. It was barely a storm.”

She was interrupted by the sound of a loud thunder outside.

Y/N was just like that, and it was fine, but sometimes Mina wished she could make her feel protected and safe, just like she felt around her. Even if just a bit. But she could barely hold herself up. She’d never be able to be strong enough to keep them both safe and sound.

“I would let that slip if you weren’t so clearly cold. Promise me you’ll give me a call next time?” Y/N looked like she was about to protest. “Or at least get a ride or a cab. Just don’t walk on any rain.”

She sighed deeply and took a sip of her hot tea.

“Okay. I promise.” She looked down, a smile appearing on her lips. “But only if you cuddle me back to life.”

Mina giggled, approaching Y/N and hugging her closely, feeling her cold body against her warm one.

## And I need your love before I fall.


	2. I’m fine (I’ll say it to myself over and over, however many times I fall)

## The pitch-black night makes me shake while I'm asleep.

“It’s for the best.”, she repeated it to herself once again. Through her tears, she said her spell once more, hoping that the sinking feeling on her heart would alleviate, that she would be able to breathe again. “It’s okay. It’s just a bad day. Tomorrow will be kinder.”

These nights, the dark ones, when she couldn’t really find any feeling in her heart but dread, and sadness, and loneliness, she thought of calling her once more. Of hearing her voice, of life before she came home to an empty apartment every night. But if she was to be honest with herself, Mina knew there was nothing to talk about, and that although this was a bad day, she had to hold herself up and go through it with the most positive attitude she could muster.

“It’s okay.” Her voice echoed down the empty apartment. “It’ll be okay.”

It had been weeks now, and in the start, it had been the most difficult thing she’d ever done. She cursed at herself, she cursed at Y/N, though never at her face. It was never easy to walk away from a relationship, and Mina understood putting that much pressure on her ex’s shoulders was probably a bad thing to do — but she couldn’t stop her thoughts from roaming around. It felt like a dirty move to even think that it was all her fault. It was nobody’s fault. It was just how the world worked: sometimes things didn’t end up well.

But as the night got darker and the wind got colder, and her mascara tears stained her blanket once more, she thought that maybe there was a way to undo it. Things didn’t really go as she had planned, but perhaps Mina’s silent screams into the night would bring everything back to what it was three months ago.

“It’s okay.” She said again, breathing in and out slowly. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”

Sometimes she tried to imagine if Y/N was suffering as well. If she still thought of coming back. Was it still love that she felt, or was it that she wanted the comfort and safety she used to feel when they were together back? Probably the latter. You can’t love someone you barely know anymore. Time had passed, and she was a different person, and most probably so was Y/N. Would they even recognize each other now?

Mina had changed a lot after the breakup. If she needed help and reassurance constantly when she was in a relationship, now that she was alone she was starting to get better at managing her emotions. It didn’t feel so bad when the world was scary anymore. She could finally feel comfortable in her own skin by herself, and it was something she was proud of, and something Y/N always hoped she could do. It felt good. She wished she could tell her that it felt good, and that she was okay now.

Maybe that was why it felt so difficult to move on still. Because she knew she had nothing to fall back on, and she knew she didn’t need it anymore. It felt like the memories she held so dearly were tainted now, truly in the past as she understood she leaned on Y/N way too much than Mina should, and way, way more than Y/N could handle. And that was why they had to break up, why there was no other choice.

On these nights, so very dark, when the wind blew cold and her heart felt colder, something she knew was true, but that she could never fully admit to, sounded from the outskirts of her mind. That they were both better off alone.

“We’re gonna be okay.” She said, wiping away her tears.

## But I'm not afraid. It's okay.


End file.
